"I've used hammers made out of wood
I have played games with pieces and rules
I've deciphered tricks at the bar
But now you're gone
I haven't figured out why,
I've come up with riddles
And jokes about war
I've figured out numbers and what they're for
I've understood feelings
And I've understood words
But how could you be taken away
( from "Light Years" - Pearl Jam )
“'I know my life's meaningful because' - and here he stopped, and looked shy, and was silent for a moment before he continued - 'because I'm a good friend. I love my friends, and I care about them, and I think I make them happy.'”
The lyrics from the song by Pearl Jam, which aches for the loss of a much loved dear one, and the above quote, in which such a "dear one" shyly, but confidently reads his own purpose in life, resonates for me loudly across these 700 odd pages of this book. And this book has everything - harrowing despair, scenes so hard to read without your fingers going into your mouth unknowingly to stop a gasp, actually tearing up helplessly - Plus, how a friend can heal one's deepest wounds when one was convinced that one didn't deserve happiness, love, comfort, a sense of belonging. There is a part in this book called "The Happy Years" which, while doesn't come in the first youth of the protagonist, surely come. There were happy years, and a person was able to stand tall above all the unspeakable filth that had almost destroyed and left that person, because of an unconditional love, stemming from that friendship. The above for me is the summary of this book, what is amazing about this book. All the harrowing details suggested above measure up against this power of having 'a little life', against all odds.
But this book is much much more, as it spans across 700 odd pages. I don't recall a single paragraph which weighted me down with boredom - weighted me, almost drowned me with sorrow, it clearly did. Besides that heavy weight, there is unmistakable culture as the book spans across near forty years in the lives of four friends. Their ups, their downs, their world wide recognition, their journey from rags to riches, and at times their subsequent falls. The book is rich with phrases that can be cited as excellent quotes - and the subject matter is so wide it spans from Pure Mathematics, to Sculpture, to Architecture, to Law, to Painting, to Music - hell, what was not there in this gem ? It is difficult to speak too much of this book without revealing its game - hence I will resort to say this: "Remains of the Day", "The Secret History", "The Overstory", I believe are the best books that I have read, published, this side of the late 1980s. A Little Life is joins that elite few, and is in a tussle to become my favourite modern novel.
This write up has to include at least a few quotes (which has zero spoilers), to illustrate the richness that it carries in these pages. Although I have thick hard cover copy, I depended almost solely on my kindle device, and where appropriate, maybe less than 5% on the Kindle appliance on my phone to read this book. But this is the kind of book that a book lover has to have in physical format, to love, to cherish, and maybe many years from now to open into (who knows the then electronic device may not be operable to my then fading mind - that is if I could afford it - we have but a little life).
“It is also then that I wish I believed in some sort of life after life, that in another universe, maybe on a small red planet where we have not legs but tails, where we paddle through the atmosphere like seals, where the air itself is sustenance, composed of trillions of molecules of protein and sugar and all one has to do is open one's mouth and inhale in order to remain alive and healthy, maybe you two are there together, floating through the climate. Or maybe he is closer still: maybe he is that gray cat that has begun to sit outside our neighbor's house, purring when I reach out my hand to it; maybe he is that new puppy I see tugging at the end of my other neighbor's leash; maybe he is that toddler I saw running through the square a few months ago, shrieking with joy, his parents huffing after him; maybe he is that flower that suddenly bloomed on the rhododendron bush I thought had died long ago; maybe he is that cloud, that wave, that rain, that mist. It isn't only that he died, or how he died; it is what he died believing. And so I try to be kind to everything I see, and in everything I see, I see him.”
* * *
“If I were a different kind of person, I might say that this whole incident is a metaphor for life in general: things get broken, and sometimes they get repaired, and in most cases, you realize that no matter what gets damaged, life rearranges itself to compensate for your loss, sometimes wonderfully.”
* * *
“Everyone thought they would be friends for decades, forever. But for most people, of course, that hadn't happened. As you got older, you realized that the qualities you valued in the people you slept with or dated weren't necessarily the ones you wanted to live with, or be with, or plod through your days with. If you were smart, and if you were lucky, you learned this and accepted this. You figured out what was most important to you and you looked for it, and you learned to be realistic.”
* * *
A Little Life - MAGNIFICENT !!! What Pity, to the eyes of readers
who read books of this genre, but who still skip this masterpiece !
Rating - *****
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